The train back to campus always feels like surfacing from a three-day drowning.
I'm sprawled on my bed, staring at my color-coded planner like it's going to spontaneously combust. My phone's been buzzing all weekendβtwo days of this dangerous texting game.
Every message felt like he was still making me come apart with those ridiculously skilled fingers. Still no clue how he got my number or what his actual name is.
I kept responding like some kind of addict. Yesterday I finally cracked and asked what I should save him as in my contacts.
Me: How's your mysterious life of crime?
Unknown: Thriving. Your parents lecture you about responsible choices?
Me: Obviously. Speaking of which, what should I save you as in my phone? 'Random Hookup #3' feels a bit harsh.
Three dots. Forever.
Unknown: βPrivate Room Serviceβ.
I actually choked on my coffee. Arrogant bastard knew exactly what he was advertisingβand exactly what he'd left unfinished.
Me: You're unbelievable.
Unknown: But accurate. Five-star rating, I assume.
He wasn't wrong. Made my stomach do this annoying flip thing because we both knew exactly what kind of "service" he'd provided in that dim room before everything got interrupted.
Now Monday's here, and my phone buzzes again.
Private Room Service: How's the family rehabilitation going?
First smile in 72 hours. Pathetic, but Iβll take it.
Me: Survived another weekend of being the mom I never asked to be. Whereβs my participation trophy?
Private Room Service: In the mail with your therapy bill.
Me: Bold of you to assume Iβm not already in therapy.
Private Room Service: Are you?
Me: Canβt afford it. I spend all my money on wine and emergency Ubers for family crises.
Private Room Service: What happened?
I start typing about Madisonβs tire-slashing incident, delete it. Try again with Abbyβs Barbie decapitation saga, delete that too. Finally settle on:
Me: The usual family shitshow. My sister thinks vandalism is a love language.
Private Room Service: Runs in the family?
Me: Excuse me?
Private Room Service: The destructive tendencies.
I stare at my phone. Who the fuck says that to someone? I am so not destructive.
Me: You clearly donβt know me at all.
Private Room Service: Donβt I?
Before I can psychoanalyze that cryptic bullshit, Cleo crashes through our shared bathroom like sheβs fleeing a crime scene.
βYou look like someone ran you through a paper shredder,β she announces, towel-wrapped hair defying gravity.
βFeel like it too.β I donβt look up from my phone. βMadison went full psycho ex-girlfriend. Abby had a meltdown that lasted three hours. Dad burned dinner because he was distracted by Christmas lights.β
βChristmas lights? Itβs March.β
βDonβt ask.β
βYour family makes mine look functional, and my mom once tried to sage away my period cramps.β
My phone buzzes again.
Private Room Service: Youβve gone quiet.
Me: Processing your weirdly personal observations about my alleged destructive tendencies.
Private Room Service: Hit a nerve?
Me: You wish.
Private Room Service: I do wish. Nerves are interesting.
What kind of psychological warfare bullshit is this?
βOkay, that face,β Cleo says, flopping onto my bed, βis definitely not family trauma. Thatβs sex-adjacent confusion.β
βItβs notββ
βWho are you texting? And donβt say βnobodyβ because nobody doesnβt make you look like youβre solving quantum physics with your vagina.β
βGosh, Cleo.β
The door explodes open. Ayden stumbles in looking like he wrestled a bear and lost.
βIβm actually dying,β he gasps, collapsing into my desk chair. βCoach wants us dead before regionals.β
βYou smell like someone fucked a gym sock,β Cleo observes with the tenderness of true love.
βYour dirty talk always gets me hard, babe,β Ayden shoots back with a smile. βBut seriously, three hours of hell because Georgie canβt remember basic plays.β
Another phoneβs buzzings, that only means a new message:
Private Room Service: Still processing?
Me: Still wondering why you care.
Private Room Service: Maybe Iβm curious about what makes you tick.
Me: Maybe you should find a healthier hobby.
Private Room Service: Whereβs the fun in that?
βSophieβs having a whole-ass relationship via text,β Cleo announces to Ayden.
βI am notββ
βSpeaking of relationships,β Ayden perks up like a gossip-hungry golden retriever, βdid you guys hear the latest Professor Lewis tea?β
Here we fucking go.
βUgh, not you too,β I groaned.
βWhat βme tooβ?β Ayden grins. βIβm just saying Sarah from stats claims her roommate hooked up with some senior who swears Lewis has a whole Red Room of Pain situation.β
βStop.β Cleo literally moans. βI can only get so wet.β
βYouβre both disgusting.β
βIβm horny,β Cleo corrects. βThereβs a difference. That man could read me the phone book and Iβd come.β
βHeβs our professor.β
βHeβs also criminally hot. Those suits, that voice, the way he intellectually murders peopleβ¦β She fans herself. βIβd let him give me detention any day.β
Private Room Service: What are you doing?
Me: Listening to my friends discuss our professorβs alleged sex dungeon.
Private Room Service: Interesting topic.
Me: Welcome to college. We gossip about everything.
Private Room Service: Including your professorsβ personal lives?
Before I can formulate a response that doesnβt make me sound like a complete disaster, Ayden throws a pillow at me.
βThat smile is definitely not nobody,β he says. βYou look like youβre planning either an orgasm or a murder.β
βWhy not both?β Cleo adds helpfully.
***
Walking into Professor Lewisβs lecture the next morning feels like entering a gladiator arena where the weapons are words and the casualties are GPAs.
Iβve actually done the reading this time, which in Lewisβs class is like bringing a knife to a nuclear warβbetter than nothing, but still probably insufficient.
The man himself stands at the front looking like he stepped out of a fucking magazine spread for βProfessors Who Could Destroy You Academically and Youβd Thank Them.β Charcoal suit, perfect hair, expression that suggests heβs mentally cataloguing everyoneβs intellectual deficiencies.
His eyes find mine immediately.
Shit.
βMiss Hale.β His voice cuts through the roomβs chatter like a scalpel. βSince you seemed soβ¦ engaged in personal matters during our last discussion, perhaps youβd like to redeem yourself today.β
Every head in the room swivels toward me. Great. Public execution it is.
βIβd love to,β I reply, matching his tone.
βWonderful. Foucaultβs disciplinary power. Modern surveillance state. Connect the dots.β His smile could freeze hell. βTake your time.β
I can feel the trap, but I dive in anyway. βFoucault argued that disciplinary power creates compliant subjects through surveillance and normalization. The panopticon modelβconstant potential observation controls behavior even without actual watching.β
βAdequate.β The dismissal stings. βBut youβre missing nuance. Self-disciplineβs role?β
βSelf-discipline becomes internalized surveillance,β I continue, irritation building. βPeople police themselves based on perceived social expectations.β
βBetter. Still surface-level.β His eyes never leave mine. βContemporary applications?β
My face flushes. βSocial media platforms function as digital panopticons. Users perform their lives for invisible audiences, creating voluntary surveillance that reinforces existing power structures while creating false illusions of freedom.β
βMarginally improved.β The condescension makes my jaw clench. βPerhaps less time on personal conversations, more time developing sophisticated analysis.β
Direct hit. The entire room watches this academic bloodbath unfold.
βIβll keep that in mind, Professor,β I say, sarcasm dripping.
βSee that you do. Class participation: thirty percent of your grade.β His smile is predatory. βHate for you to disappoint yourself.β
As he turns to terrorize someone else, I sink into my seat, heart hammering.
Cleo leans over: βHoly shit, he just intellectually throat-fucked you in front of everyone.β
βShut up.β
βYouβre totally turned on right now.β
βI am not.β
βYour face is redder than my worst period, girl.β
βMiss Hale,β Lewisβs voice cuts across the room again. βSince youβre determined to continue disruptions, share your insights on voluntary servitude.β
I meet his gaze dead-on. βI was discussing how some people mistake control for competence, Professor. Fascinating psychological phenomenon.β
Something flickers across his faceβalmost like heβs fighting a smile. βIndeed, Miss Hale. Indeed.β







